I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
