I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
