Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Too much gin, very little bucket
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
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A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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