i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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