I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am spending my child support on dildos
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
