she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
