took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
