Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
