he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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