At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
