have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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