Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
