You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
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Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
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