Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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