the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
