just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
