Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
