your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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