I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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