Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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