i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
