he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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