We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
