You're my little dorito
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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