did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize