She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
