She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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