to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize