Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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