hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
