You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Randomize
