i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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