I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
