he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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