dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.