we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game