I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?