There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
