Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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