First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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