I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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