Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize