Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
