It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
