I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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