Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
