Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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