It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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