What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
