Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize