So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
