just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
