Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
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You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.