Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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