I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
honey bunches of taint.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
