dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
