wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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