belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
