I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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