Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
