Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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